Insanity
by Alunamai
Summary: “Ms. Isabella Swan, I have asked you father for you hand in marriage and he has given me permission to ask. So, I have come here this evening to ask you… Isabella Swan, please give me the honor of calling you Mrs. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen.” R&R!
1. Graduation part one

**Authors Note: Okay. New Moon Spoilers in a way. Oh, I decided that the Volturi were only the face of the Royal Families of the vampires. Their more like the top five families in the world. With the number one family consisting of the rulers.**

**Insanity **

**By: Alunamai**

**Chapter One**

**Graduation (Part One)**

**Jasper POV**

**Of all the things that could happen to us, this, by far, had to be the worst. Not only was Bella not a vampire yet, but the Volturi decided to make a little trip to Forks. That was not the frightening part… the frightening part was that Aro was coming with them so he could catch up with Carlisle. Now we had to come up with a plan for what we were going to do with Bella until they leave. Then again, it was four hours prior to graduation and Carlisle did say he would change her afterwards.**

"**Esme! Kids!" Carlisle called from the dining room. I hate that he calls us kids we are not children. "That includes Bella."**

**I waited for Alice outside our bedroom door and when she came out I grabbed her hand. **

"**You know what this is about?" I asked her, knowing that I really didn't need to. It was obvious it was about Bella, graduation, and the Volturi.**

"**The obvious situation that is going on now and the fact that Edward is not at happy about tonight's plans for after we go to dinner with Charlie and The Dwyers. Funny how we will have to eat tonight and then regurgitate everything after wards." She laughed a little. We were now sitting at the dining table with Carlisle and Esme at either end of the long table. Edward and Bella sat side by side, as did Alice and I. Emmett stood behind Rosalie's seat and nonchalantly played with her hair.**

"**I have called us together because we have a couple of important matters to take care of. First being tonight's…" He paused a minute chuckled a little as if what was going to happen tonight was funny. "… festivities." He chuckled again.**

"**It's not funny." Edward said very impatiently. For the last week or so he has been in the foulest of moods. He only appeared happy when Bella was around. "What will be happening after supper will be no laughing matter."**

"**As I was saying, dinner with Bella's family will be quite interesting. Considering that most of us have not had a bite of food since we became what we have become." He threw a look at Edward who just returned the look. "I expect you all to be on your best behavior. If any of you step one toe out of line then there will be consequences." **

"**And as for after dinner, we will hold a meeting with her parents." Esme continued. "We need to discuss our 'camping' trip. Especially since that is where Bella will be 'killed' by a wild animal. But that won't come up until later."**

"**Another topic for discussion is that we have a wedding to plan." After Carlisle said this there was a sudden surge of excitement that ran rampant through at least three of the women at the table. Bella not being one of them.**

"**Umm, that might be a problem." She started. "You see, my mom is strongly opposed to marriage before thirty. I mean, I'd love to marry Edward. But with my father hating him as of this moment, that may be a problem. If he were to find out he would attempt to kill him."**

"**Edward will ask your father for your hand in marriage. If your father opposes it really won't matter now will it?" I said quietly. "I mean after Wednesday you'll be 'dead' anyways."**

"**He does have a point." Rosalie pointed out. **

"**And about the Volturi…" Carlisle decided to move on. "Aro, Caius, and Marcus are all coming. They have told me that they are bringing six very important people with them and that they are to be treated with absolute respect. And now you may all continue getting ready. Oh Edward, I need to have a word with you."**

**Alice was the first to rise and she immediately grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her up stairs. Rosalie and Esme followed right behind them. Emmett decided he wanted to play a game of battle ship which meant I had to join him.**

**-x-x-x-x-**

**Carlisle POV**

"**Let's go for a ride." I suggested as Edward walked up to me to see what I had wanted to talk to him about. I picked up the keys to the Mercedes and started for the front door. I heard him following. _Don't bother trying to read my mind, Edward, your not going to find a clue to what I want to talk to you about._**

"**YOU SUNK MY BATTLE SHIP WITH JUST ONE TRY!" I heard Emmett yell.**

"**IT'S NOT DIFFICULT WHEN YOU PUT IT IN THE SAME PLACE EVERY TIME WE PLAY!" **

**I shook my head and laughed as I exited the house. I had not been looking forward to this discussion with Edward. Actually, I never thought I would have to have this discussion with him. I did have practice, with Emmett back in 1936 when he and Rosalie were married, with countless teenagers due to their Sex Ed classes, and with Jasper. Now it was Edwards turn to get the Sex talk. **

"**Don't bother. I already know what to expect." I heard him say. Maybe I wasn't as practiced as I used to be with concealing my thoughts. Okay so that was definitely not a road I would have to go down but now for the road less traveled. I had to give him the engagement ring my father gave my mother. I did give it to Esme but last year she requested a new one. 'For Edward should give it to Bella.' **

**She knew that they would be married. She was not going to let Bella slip out of Edwards grasp, for according to her, Edward had been alone for way too long. I knew it was going to happen one way or another. But after what happened last year, I wasn't quite sure it was going to happen. **

**_We all love her, Edward. We all know this is right. What ever Charlie says, just remember she will still be yours, no matter what._ I pulled on to the main road and drove straight to the Chiefs house. **

"**We are going there now?" he asked me quietly.**

**_Yes. Trust me, we do this now and we won't have to worry about it later._ I parked in front of the house and we both stepped out of the car. We slowly walked up to the door and I rang the bell. After about two minutes the door swung open.**

"**Dr. Cullen, what a pleasant surprise." Charlie exclaimed. Then he turned his stare to Edward. "Edward." The words 'if looks could kill' came to mind as I noticed the death glare he gave my son.**

"**Is Bella home?" I heard Renee Dwyer question her ex-husband. **

"**No." He called back. "Come in please." We stepped through the door and were lead to the kitchen. **

"**I have a question I would like to ask." Edward started kind of awkwardly. " I would like to ask for Bella's hand in marriage. Now before you say no, hear me out."**

"**Oh, that's wonderful." Renee said happily. **

"**I really don't think…"**

"**She will have everything she has ever wanted. And you know as well as I do that no matter what you say will she leave me. I love her. I love her more than life it self."**

"**You're only eighteen; you don't know what love is."**

"**I think it would be a wonderful idea, Charlie." Renee said. "I give my blessing. You should too. This is a nice young man who has taken an interest in your daughter. He has done nothing more than make her completely happy. If he hadn't returned she probably would still be milling around the house or down at La Push with that Quilluite boy… Jacob was it? She is going to marry Edward whether you like it or not."**

"**Alright." Charlie was giving in to Renee not us. He only agreed because she was right. That was for sure.**

"**Thank you."**

"**Do you have a ring?" Charlie asked. **

"**Um, no." Edward said quietly.**

"**Yes, he does. It was my mothers, and then it was Esme's. Esme has given it to me to give to him to give to Bella." I explained.**

"**Good." Charlie took a seat and glared at Edward. **

"**Well, we need to go. We have a graduation to prepare for. We'll show ourselves out." We walked out the front door and headed home.**

**-x-x-x-x-**

"**Don't you dare touch her." I heard Esme scream as we walked in the door. **

"**We have company." Edward said quickly. **

"**We gave him our warning, and Alice gave her word." I heard Caius explain lightly. Oh dear god I knew exactly what was going on. **

"**She will be one of us in the next three days. Carlisle is going to change her tonight."**

"**Stop!" I heard a new voice. A woman's voice. Edward and I raced upstairs and into Alice's room. What greeted us were five male vampires and three females' vampires. "I can't believe that you are going to kill this poor girl for knowing of our existence and of the fact that she is going to become one of us tonight. I can't believe you Caius. Why did my father ever appoint you to any position?"**

"**So as to keep Aro here from granting pardon to every human who knows of us."**

"**Oh boo hoo." Another woman said. " If it weren't for us there wouldn't be…"**

"**Carlisle, my old friend, how marvelous to see you again. It's has been way to long since we last met." Aro came over and shook my hand. "How wonderful, they were telling the truth. Oh, dear, where are my manners. Carlisle, this is her majesty, Queen Regina Armonzia. And these two young ladies are Omenzia Omenz and Concordia Lumberg. They are the three most powerful vampire families in our world. And theses two young men are Dr. Jason Landson and Alexander. I don't know his last name but I do know he does not speak a word of English."**

**A/N: So what do you all think? I hope you like the cliff hanger I did it all for you! R&R! **


	2. Everybodies Free To Wear Sunscreen Gr 2

**A/N: Okay, here's the deal. I am trying to find colleges to apply too and I have to start filling out applications so these updates will probably be a bit slow. That and I am trying to write them as long as possible.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen. (I had a hard time coming up with a speech so yeah. They both belong to their rightful owners. (Stephenie Meyer and Baz Luhrmann) **

**Insanity**

**By: Alunamai**

**Chapter Two**

**Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen**

**(Graduation Pt. 2)**

**Edward POV**

**Emmett and Jasper stood in front of Bella and Alice stood behind her. Rosalie stood to Emmett's left and Esme was on Jasper's right. Carlisle moved over to Esme's right.**

"**Sorry I'm late. You know that turn off is practically hidden from view?" A woman came into the room. "Did I miss something?"**

"**No, and that's the point of the road. We don't want people bothering us." Jasper said in a hiss.**

"**A Raja, how wonderful of you to join us."**

"**Why are you so bloody happy at all times? It's just not normal!" Raja had a very thick and very exotic sounding accent. Almost like Hindi mixed with a bit of a British Accent. Obviously she is… "From India and raised in both India and England. Around Carlisle actually… no not you… it's a small town just on the Scotland and England boundaries." She can read minds just what we need.**

"**Are you always so negative?" Alexander shot at her. **

"**Shut up. Your nothing but an ignorant little vampire who should be torn to shreds for…. Just being you!"**

"**I'm sorry to interrupt but we do have a graduation to prepare for. We have more than enough tickets. Why not join us?" Esme stated quickly.**

"**Of course we will. It shall be fun." Aro commented happily.**

**-x-x-x-x-**

**Esme POV**

**We sat there waiting for them to announce Bella to give her Valedictorian speech. She had me write it for she couldn't think of anything to write up. So I obliged to her request. **

"**And now for our Valedictorian Isabella Swan." Everyone applauded as Bella approached the podium.**

"**I would like to give you all the advice that my grandmother gave me before she died and also some from Mrs. Cullen. I have written this as if one of them were giving the speech and not myself. Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of 2006...' **

**  
Wear Sunscreen'**

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.'

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You're not as fat as you imagine.'

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.'

Do one thing everyday that scares you' 

Sing'

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.' 

Floss'

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind…the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.'

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.'

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.'

Stretch'

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds know still don't.'

Get plenty of calcium.'

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.'

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own..'

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.'

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.'

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.'

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.'

Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.'

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.'

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.'

Travel.'

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.'

Respect your elders.'

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.'

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's 40, it will look 85.'

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.'

But trust me on the sunscreen..."

**Everyone was quiet for a moment then they all started to applaud and stand. I couldn't believe that my Bella had a received a standing ovation. Yes, I know it was my speech but I told her to take the credit but she did it tastefully. **

**They had moved on to reading the names off so that the students could receive their diplomas. When they called up Bella she walked across the built stage and then as she went to step down she tripped and fell. But before she hit the ground Edward was there to catch her, for he was walking right in front of her. They did the names by home room teacher and he was in her homeroom. He had actually waited for her to come down the stairs just in case she should fall. **

**A/N: Okay! Hows that? I hope you all liked that! Chapter 3 will be up soon! R/R!**


	3. The Proposal

Authors Note: Okay, so who here thinks that wearing sunscreen is for the weak skinned. I do! Haha, that's only because I am allergic to it. So best story ever… my friends and I decided to go to this place called Nickel City. It's this arcade that is almost half off on all games and you have to use nickels. Well, we drove two hours from where I live to get to this place. Now mind you we have never been there. We not only thought we were lost but when we go there it was closed! Their not open on Mondays. I was so ticked!

Oh, and I do realize that I made Renee way to accepting of Edward and Bella getting married. Umm… long story short… I have decided that Edward had already spoken to Renee about it and that they had a slight argument about it. Edward of course won and umm… yeah!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. I do own the made up characters that you have obviously not seen in either book. Stephenie Meyer is the proud creator of Twilight and New Moon. Kudo's to Stephenie.

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Three

The Proposal

Carlisle POV

Dinner was going to be a fiasco. No matter what I told everyone, some one was going to cause a major problem. I had my bets on Aro, Caius, and Marcus. Just the fact that two of them were old stiffs and Aro was the one that everyone was willing to kill just because he was acting like himself. He was after all, a child at heart.

"Now I expect every one of you to be on your best behavior. That includes all of you!" I stated very quickly and very low so that no one could hear.

"What is this place?" Aro asked quietly.

"It's called a restaurant. It's a place where humans go and get their nutrients from the food they are able to consume." Rosalie said quickly. "It's a place where we generally don't go.

"Thank you, captain obvious." Edward said under his breath. She must have caught for she turned around and kicked him in the shin. "Ow."

"Serves you right." She stated quietly.

The squad car pulled up to the door and Phil jumped out the back seat and let Renee out. He made towards Bella's door but Edward had beaten him to it.

"Very human." Bella whispered into Edwards ear as she stepped out. "Stop showing off, you know that he'll never accept you."

"That won't matter in a week now will it?"

"It will if you get your way. This is why I have put this completely in Carlisle's hands." She continued to whisper at his side knowing she didn't need to be near his ear to tell him anything.

-x-x-x-x-

"Now I tell you, who in their right mind criticizes the works of Shakespeare?" Regina stated as she swallowed another bite of the stake she had ordered. "I mean, yes, Macbeth was a crazy tragedy in which everybody died… but did you pay attention to the characters at all… they were all crazy. Especially Lady Macbeth. She had King Duncan killed and she was the one feeling guilty and she thought she had the blood on her hands."

"Well, that was how things were in those days." I pointed out. "People feared the punishment that could be given for such deeds and if they found out that she had been the one to give the order or rather the one who thought of it… off with her head!" I had been a huge fan of Shakespeare. I still am.

Everyone else looked bored. Obviously not interested in the politics behind Shakespeare. I looked towards Edward who was seated right beside Bella. _This would be the time to propose. Even if she has already stated that she would, it would be for her parent's sake. _He nodded and stood up.

We were seated a large rectangular table and in a private banquet hall per my request. We didn't need more than just the waitress's gawking at us.

"If I could have everybody's attention, please?" he stopped and waited for every one to quiet down before he continued. "Thank you." He moved his chair, faced Bella, and got down on one knee.

"Ms. Isabella Swan, I have asked you father for you hand in marriage and he has given me permission to ask. So, I have come here this evening to ask you… Isabella Swan, please give me the honor of calling you Mrs. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

"Yes." She was crying. It was actually quite touching considering a few months ago he just blatantly asked her to marry him. "Yes, I will." And with out thinking she threw her arms around him and she kissed his cheek.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Authors note: Sorry it was so short but you know how it is. I have a bad case of writers block. But I will be able to make these chapters much longer, for I now have a computer in my room that I can be on when ever I don't have chores, homework, and oh yeah, when I'm at work! So R&R! Love you all. Oh chapter six of Trials of the Heart should be up by Thursday night so keep a look out on your emails.


	4. The Sparkiling Diamond

Authors Note: Ballroom dancing has taken over my life, sorry! That and I got a promotion at work. SO I am trying so hard to keep up with what I am supposed to be doing… homework, work, writing, fan fiction writing (yes I am writing a book! I might use my pen name or my real name… I'll let you all know), and most definitely a possibility a music career! Well, I hope you all read the update to eternity and trials of the heart should be up soon… maybe Friday since I have Thursday – Sunday off! YAY!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. They are property of Stephenie Meyer.

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Four:

The Sparkling Diamond

Alice POV

Okay… so dinner wasn't a total fiasco… it actually went better then any of us could have expected. For one the Dwyers and Charlie suspected nothing. And sometime after the salad, Bella announced she would be moving out of Charlies house. No one said a word, although the smile on Esme's face was growing ever more prominent.

-x-x-x-

It had to have been about two in the morning when the shouting began. I knew was not Bella, although she had been screaming for about two hours. It was expected, though, for she was being changed into a vampire.

"Alexander! How could you?"

"Sorry, but she was…"

"Beautiful? Xander, I am you wife… I am supposed to be the beautiful one, not some woman you see on the street."

"Someone grab hold of that woman before she goes after him." Regina screamed.

"What in the name of God…" Jasper rose from the couch where he was playing my Sims game. "I didn't say to go to the bathroom, and whats with this walk around and shake your head bit… your not trapped in the yard… it's not like a vampire can eat you… or can they?"

Sometimes he is such a nut!

"MY VASE!" I heard Esme scream. "How could you throw such a priceless object?" Ah, the one she made. It was such a beautiful object.

"What am I supposed to tell the children, Alex?" Raja continued. "Oh, father left for another human girl… it's okay, he'll be home again. Alex, I can't keep telling them that anymore. Angelo and Vincent have instructed me to leave you… so has Lena. She is going to have an emotional overload because of you." By this time I had made my way down the stairs to see what was going on.

"And you, you're the cause of this entire mess, Raja. I have done nothing to start this. You are the …"

"Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh no, Alexander Graham Marshall Montgomery the third, I believe it is you who has brought this upon the family. Not me. I want you out of my life, Mr. Montgomery. I want you out of it for the rest of eternity. I can not take this any longer."

And with that he swept from the room.

-x-x-x-

a week later

"I FOUND THE MAN I AM GOING TO MARRY!" rushed in the short brunette. Concordia was her name, I believe.

"Who is it?" Esme asked quietly a smile creeping ever slowly across her lips.

"Jacob Black."

"What?" Half the room, including Bella, shouted.

"He's a dog!" I prompted quickly. "And I mean in a literal sense."

"He's a sweetheart."

"Until he backstabs you."

"I don't care what he is, I am already half of what ever he is."

"She's serious." Our heads snapped into the direction of Regina. "She was born half vampire and half werewolf."

"And that is way beside the point. I have also found a great venue for a new nightclub. I already bought the property. I will call it…Underworld. Which it will be a branch of the Sparkling Diamond, and will be much like that of my Venice Sapphire. The club thing is everything that humans consider "Supernatural"… Vampires, fairies, witches; ect. It will be wonderful. It… really isn't a nightclub… just one of those old fashioned places where they have acts and such instead of DJs."

"Child you have gone crazy."

"Much more than crazy." Carlisle stated quietly.

"You just don't know him the way I know him."

"Trust me, I grew up with this fool! He is just a little… no not just a little… try very much insane. He is a backstabbing little twit, Concordia." Bella informed the girl.

"You are lying to me! Your just jealous that you never had a chance with him." At that moment, the room went completely silent. The look on Bella's face was priceless.

"He was addicted to me. He wanted to be much more than friends! He was under the impression that I liked him the way he liked me, and I could care less for the boy. I have a boy friend. And at the time Jacob and I were getting closer, Edward had left me and had no idea that I would see him again. I was on a completely different planet when I let him get close. I now hate him, very, very much!"

"What do you see in him?" Jasper asked.

"I have been alone for a little over two hundred years I deserve to be loved!" She pouted. "I want to be married, and I want to have a family. I'm still able to have children! So Why not get married and have some!"

And with that last little bit she stormed out of the room.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Two Months Later

Club Underworld

"Welcome to orientation. I am Jordania Renya, but you may call me Jordi. I am your choreographer, song conductor, supervisor, and your worst enemy if we get off on wrong terms. Now, opening day is two months away, I have that much time to whip your sorry asses into serious shape. Now, I will have my assistant take attendance. Balthazar, if you would."

"Regina Armonzia?"

"Here!"

"Jacob Black?"

"Here."

"Alice Cullen?"

"Present!" I shouted.

"When I say your name just raise your hand… Bella Cullen… Edward Cullen… Emmett Cullen… Esme Cullen… Jasper Hale… Rosalie Hale… Jason Landson… Omenzia Landson… Raja Montgomery… all are here ms. Renya."

"Wonderful." Jordania said cheerfully. "Now everyone, assemble yourselves into two lines…"

"Jordi! I have a couple of newbies for you. This is Michael Newton, Tyler… what is your last na… oh it doesn't matter… and this is Roscoe Lansing."

"ROSCOE!" Raja screeched. "Oh, my god, I haven't seen you since I married that loser! How's Dad?"

"You didn't hear?" the boy who looked almost identical to Raja, and the lead singer of Panic! At the Disco. He also looked vaguely familiar. Oh, so that's who Raja resembled in a female way. That explains everything.

"What happened?"

"He was killed by a tracker back in 1921. He was protecting some girl he was deeply in love with… Mary Alice Brandon was her name I believe."

-x-x-x-x

Esme POV

"Your father was the one who bit me?" Alice nearly had a heart attack. "How is that possible? Your family was in India at that time… Raja said that your entire family was in India at that time, except for her, Alexander, and her children. They were in Italy."

"No, our father was working in a asylum right on the border of Biloxi, Mississippi. He fled there, about May 1921 because he saw James in a vision that you had in your sleep. He was a mind reader, like Edward."

"How do you know…"

"I know everything." Roscoe said quickly. " I was at his manor when my father came crashing in the door and he ran up to the second floor and bit her. I soon after left and found James. You see, I was in James coven, and I was hired to spy on my own father. I had no intention to do so, but I had too. If I hadn't I would have lost my life."

Every one was silent for a moment as Roscoe took a seat at one of the tables. Alice sat across from him and I could see that she was hurt. Jasper stood behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders.

"Roscoe, you're an idiot. But you had no idea that he was going to kill dad. How could you, out of the two us you're the idiot."

"Lets get to work here people. You're not being paid to argue, although it would make a rather good act." Jordi called. "Now in two lines. Balthazar, pair 'em up."

"Edward and Bella… Jasper and Alice… Jason and Rosalie… Emmett and Omenzia… Esme and Tyler… Regina and Michael… Concordia and Jacob… Raja and Balthazar… and Roscoe you can work the bar."

A/N: Sorry if this chapter just seems so random. I just had an idea and thought I'd go with it. I am probably am going to have something happen to the night club, cause it just brings in to many characters. So ya, R&R.


	5. How

A/N: Sorry about how random last chapter was… but the story is called INSANITY! Right now, I am listening to some freaky song Called Cat House… it is so weird sounding… it's kind of funny.

Oh, for those of you who want to really understand my characters… read Everlasting Life… each character, in one case or another, has a link to a member in the Cullen family. So it is completely appropriate to post on this site! Because out of 34 people who read it… at least one should have commented. Plus, I have an idea, I am going to put in twilight character chapters in there.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon. They are Mrs. Meyers!

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Five:

How

Carlisle POV

The house was quiet for once… the only sounds were of Raja cursing out her husband to her daughter over the phone, three old men attempting to play chess with three people… Aro's idea… and Edward was playing his piano. I said it was quiet… not silent.

Concordia, the half breed, was down at La Push playing with her new found pets. That poor girl, she has no idea what she is doing. Omenzia and Jason are down at the club with Alice and Jasper, practicing for opening night, And Ms. Regina and Esme, are speaking quietly in the kitchen. I decided that I would eavesdrop for the first time in my life, on my wife.

"You said you were born a vampire? As were your parents?" Esme asked inquizitevly.

"It's hard to explain, I don't quite understand it my self. I mean, it took my parents over two hundred years to have me… and both were born vampire. Upon the eighteenth birthday, you go through the transformation. Sometimes before you turn eighteen it happens. Jase was seventeen and a half.

"Now… it makes sense that we are born this way… cause it somehow explains our existence… how we survive… where we… came from… and yet it's a complete mystery. Someone, like yourself, asked me, ' how could someone, who is supposed to be a living corpses, give birth to a living, breathing, being."

"How indeed?"

"Well, I do know if your power is bringing things back to life then it's possible for both born and changed… but that power is extremely rare. I only know of one… Demetrio Stregoni. He's a cousin of min and he is a phenomenal healer. Personally, I think that's how my parents conceived me in the first place. Because reproduction can only be done with in the first three hundred to six hundred years of age. When my parents were married, they wee both seven hundred years old. When I was born, they were 1038 years old. The spring that they conceived me Demetri was visiting has favorite Aunt Andromedia."

"So your saying that by a stoke of luck that your parents had you? Because your cousin visited that spring."

"Yes, you see he had not visited them since they had been married. And then he finally came to visit. It's the only logical explanation that I have. Like Jason and Omenzia, Jase can control their ability to have children. But their story of how the came to be… is quite interesting but left to another day. The only other way to keep from having children is to have them prior to becoming a vampire.

"Raja has six of her own. Her and Alex had them before they changed. Her first two, Angelo and Vincent are adopted. Alexandria and Reia are her first borns. Helena and Andrew came a year later. All six are in sets of twins. Helena is just like Jasper… with one minor defect… she can't control her own emotions. Andrew is a mute so the only way to communicate with him is through the mind. The entire Montgomery family can communicate by the mind. Angelo, Vincent, and Alexander are telekinetic. And as for Alexandria and Reia are muses, only Reia is more advanced at it… she is able to put the words into someones mouth and seriously make a masterpiece. She is very talented and…"

"Carlisle?" I was brought back by a soft voice. I looked up into the eyes of Raja.

"Yes?"

"My daughters are on their way here… and my one son is also… But I have to go and take care of somethings and they want to be here… away from their father."

"That's fine, we have the room. Rosalie and Emmett plan on going to Asia next week."

"You can't make a move like that, Aro, it's just not practical!"

"Marcus, your not the king of chess!"

"I told you three players wouldn't work!"

"three squabbling old men, they are never in agreement." Raja laughed. "My daughter, Helena, is not able to be alone she…"

"Can't control her emotions, I know. I can hear my wife and Regina talking in the kitchen." I stood up and started out the door. "Just remember, you have a place to come if you ever need one."

-x-x-x-


	6. Bella and Board Games?

A/N: Umm, yeah, hey people! How is everyone, why is no one reading Everlasting Life? If I don't have any comments on it, I will take it off. Or maybe next chapter will be a Carlisle chapter. Hmmmmm! A Dane Cook line in here… only modified to fit the story better. (which I don't own that at all!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon.

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Six:

Two Stuff Shirt Vampires, One Psychotic Vampire,

Bella, and… Board Games?

Bella's POV

Edward and I were cuddled up on his couch listening to some music when a soft knock sounded on the door.

"Oh, what does he want?" Edward said quietly. "Come in, Aro."

"Good evening Bella, Edward. I was just wondering…"

"When are you not?" Caius popped his head in the doorway. Followed by Marcus.

"Will you please just let me ask and stop interrupting me." Aro snapped. "Edward, may we steal Bella…"

"Why don't you ask her?"

"Bella, could we…"

I looked up to Edward with a questioning look. He nodded and I rose from my position in his lap.

"Oh splendid!" That man is so annoying!

-x-x-x-

"The name of the game is chess!" Aro announced as we sat down in the library. "Marcus and Caius are my opponents, Bella, you can keep score."

"You can't have three players, Aro, Chess is a two person ga…"

"Marcus, I want to play with three players. Then we can play your game."

"Sorry, I like Monopoly." Marcus looked at me and smiled. "That was what I had suggested for us to play… so we could get to know you better. But Aro seems to of decided against it."

"We can only play one at a time, Marcus." Aro laughed.

"I want to play Monopoly."

"Then why did you bring up the game Sorry?" Aro asked completely ignoring the rest of the conversation.

"Boys, stop argueing and lets play."

"I like her… she likes to get to the point." Caius announced happily.

"A couple of months ago you wanted her dead." Marcus complained as he made his first move on the chessboard.

"Do I not have a right to change my mind?"

_Here we go again._ I heard what sounded like Edwards voice. _I mean how many arguments can friends have in one day… they argue like old men in the city park._

"Yes you do." Aro said quickly.

"Excuse me boys, I will be right back." I said quietly.

"It's a shock to you that you have the same ability as your fiancé, isn't it?" Aro said as I walked away.

"It is, since his are the only thoughts I seem to be hearing." I took to steps and then stopped a second and turned to look at them. " How did you… wait… I don't want to know!"

-x-x-x-x-

"Edward, think of something!" I yelled as I ran down the stairs and managed not to trip. Oh, wait I forgot… I'm a vampire I don't do that anymore. I reached the bottom step and looked right at him at his piano, playing the Moonlight Sonata.

_What is she on about now?_

"I'm not on about anything. I just wanted to confirm that I was not crazy." I then ran back up the stairs.

_She is so strange at times._

-x-x-x-

3 hours later

"You can't do that! It's illegal!" Marcus shouted.

"3 player! Not illegal!" Aro chimed.

"You know being around these crazy people have really brought the life back in you Marcus." Caius said casually.

"KING ME!" Aro yells in triumph. "VICTORY IS MINE!"

"Don't expect the mood change to continue."

-x-x-x-x

2 more hours later… monopoly

"Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars?" Marcus questioned.

"At least your not sitting on Baltic with crack."

"How do you like Monopoly now, Marcus?" Aro laughed in a cynical sort of way.

"Shut up old man!"

"Younger than you."

"Are you now?" Caius said quietly.

"Skip this game!" Marcus flipped the board. "And where'd you get all the pink fifties Bella? You cheating whore!"

"What?" I yelled standing up ready for a brawl.

"Marcus calm yourself."

"No I will not calm down, Aro, Bella's a cheating whore! I'm going to rip her head off with this little doggy!"

By then Edward had entered the room. He took one look at the upside down monopoly board, little houses, and hotels, and chance cards and he knew what had happened.

"Monopoly brings out the worst in people!" He said calmly though I could tell by his eye color that he was up set by the name calling.

"Alright, Bella, playtime with the Volturi is over, lets go." Edward escorted me out the door and down the stairs.

"You have to return sometime!"

A/N: Sorry, but it was playing in my mind ever since I mentioned the three player chess game in chapter four. Next chapter up soon!


	7. Down At La Push And Club Underworld

A/N: Okay, by popular demand… Chapter seven!

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, New Moon, or Dane Cook Jokes! They all belong to Stephenie Meyer and Dane Cook (the jokes that is) I also don't own anything to do with Bring It On!

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Seven:

Down at La Push

And

Club Underworld

Jacob Black POV (I know… finally a different perspective!)

I don't know why… or how… I came to know her but I am completely in love with her. Concordia Lumberg is the most intelligent girl I have ever met… aside from Bella. She is so different from all other girls I have ever had the honor to meet. That includes Bella. But something tells me I should be cautious… like she has a darker history than that of anyone I know.

Knock…knock 

"I'll get it!" I yelled. I knew it was Concordia. It had to be her… that or it was Sam. I reached the door and opened it with out seeing who it was.

"Hi Jacob!" my brunette beauty answered. "How have you been?"

"Fine." She smelled different from other girls I knew as well. Like a cross between… werewolf… and… dare I say it… vampire. The other thing that strikes me odd is how beautiful she is… like a vampire. No other girl, even Bella, could ever compare to her beauty.

"Jake, are you there?" She waved her hand in my face. "Can, I come in?"

"Oh, sorry, sure. Dad, we have company!" My dad rolled in and stopped in the kitchen once he looked at Concordia.

"Hi! I'm Concordia, but my friends call me Cori." She said cheerfully.

"Hello, Cori. I'm Billy." He responded kind of icily. The look on his face was one that I knew well… cause a couple of months ago that was the look he always gave Bella. "Let me ask you something. What are you?"

"Umm…" She looked at me and then back at my dad. "I'm a half werewolf and half… vampire. My mother was a werewolf… my father a vampire… I am unfortunate to be such a breed."

"I thought as much." My dad shook his head. "But which do tend to more?"

"I live with vampires, but I don't feed on humans or animals… I have no desire too. I love to eat food. Favorite is pizza! And I can only change slightly when angry and after I calm down… I have to wait a month before the tail and ears go away… and so I am always like a werewolf!"

"Looking like one and being one are two completely different things" my father said.

"Dad, she stays. I trust her."

"Your young, you know nothing." He wheeled away and into his room.

"Come on, I want you to meet the guys!" and I pulled her away with me.

-x-x-x-x-

Edward POV

"5,6,7,8 and then we turn, turn, leap and turn." _I swear to God if I have to leap and turn on more time I think I will scream! _

_It's not too easy for you, is it Edward?_ Raja sent me. The last I checked she was not here, but in Port Angeles picking up her daughters.

"Spirit Fingers! Spirit Fingers!" Jordania is going to be murdered and then I will be so happy! "Forward, Forward!" Then she did the most disrespectful thing to me ever… she grabbed hold of my piano and slammed it on to the ground. "These are not spirit fingers!" she wriggled her finger with spirit delightfulness. "These! Are spirit fingers!" more spirit delightfulness. "and these…" she put them in front of her face. "… and these are gold!"

-x-x-x-x-

Jacob POV

We left the house and I took her hand and it was considerably colder than mine. Maybe about half way between freezing and my own temperature… 109 degrees. I looked up at her and she smiled and turned away. I had to laugh a little.

"I seem to have that affect on women!" I said quietly.

"Your only a boy… how many women could you possible have dated?"

We arrived at Sam's and we entered the kitchen.

"Hi, Jacob… Sam's out." Emily said as she pulled some muffins out. "And who, may I ask, is this lovely young woman?"

"This is.."

"Concordia Lumberg, friends call me Cori." Concordia answered before I could finish. She looked directly into Emily's eyes… like she was reading her like a book.

"Nice to meet you, Cori." Emily said. "I'm Emily."

The door behind us opened. And Sam walked in.

"Jacob, what are you… who's this?" Sam stopped dead in his tracks. Almost immeadiately Concordia sat down in a chair and had a look of fear that only she could have produced.

"This is Concordia." I said as he walked in.

"You smell funny… like a blood sucker… only different…"

"I'm half werewolf, and half vam…"

"vampire… what a combination." He said quietly.

-x-x-x-

Edward POV

"MY PIANO! WHAT IN THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" I screamed. "That was a 1915 grand piano… that was a gift from my parents! How could you?"

"Sorry! Maybe you should keep things of value at home!"

"Maybe you should learn to… NOT DESTROY THINGS THAT ARE NOT YOURS!"

"Edward… calm down… she's not worth it!" Bella said quietly. She was right, I decided that this was below me. "Darling… it's just a piano, you have one at home… we can get another one."

"AH! I have found the children! Splendid!" Oh dear lord, does the torture ever end? "Marcus, your little girlfriend is here!" Aro taunted Marcus.

"Shut up, Aro, just shut up!"

"Who gets killed by bees?" Caius said as he closed a newspaper. "Seriously!"

"Caius, what are you talking about?" Regina asked as she sat down on the stage.

"He is delusional!" Aro said quietly.

"Angelina, my darling, how are you this lovely afternoon?"

"It's Angela." Angela told him politely.

"Angelina is lovely name. It's Italian." Marcus continued.

"Leave me alone, Marcus." She said and turned away from him.

"You'll come around!" He called. _Even if it means changing you! You will be mine, one way or the other._

­-x-x-x-x-x-

Jacob POV

"It's a pleasure to meet you Sam." Her eyes were turned down towards the floor.

"Are you afraid of me?" He asked. She nodded and I saw a slight shiver go through her body. This caused her hair to fall out of the messy bun it was in and her wolf ears (I couldn't think of what else to call it) to come out. I couldn't believe how long her curly hair was till that happened. All the way down her back… almost past the butt.

"You shouldn't be, we are all the same here."

"No." she looked up at him and then looked over to Emily's turned back.

A/N: Okay, that chapter is done! Now I need to get some other stuff finished… like updates for other stories. Like… oh I don't know… An Investigation into A Haunting… Eternity… It's So Magical… Trials of The Heart… stuff like that! That is a lot of writing I have to do! LOL oh well! R&R! Oh, I am taking down Everlasting Life next Thursday unless I get at least two reviews!


	8. The Truth About The Montgomery Six pt 1

A/N: Okay, what ever Eclipse Prom is… I don't care if it's a signing, a party, or whatever it is… I am so there! I don't care if I have to sell arms and legs to get there… I am so THERE! I sense a Cullen style road trip… minus the Cullen's… The Benz… BMW… Volvo… Emmett's car… the Aston Martin… so I guess I'll be taking my pathetic Plymouth Acclaim. (Starts to cry… I hate my car! This is providing I have a license by then and if I don't get the car I want for my B-day… I'll give you a couple of guesses and I will reveal in the next update what it is!)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight… New Moon… Or Dane Cook Jokes! They are respectively owned by one of the Two people in the following (TWL+ NM Stephenie Meyer… DCJ Dane Cook!)

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Eight:

The Truth About

The Montgomery Six

La Push… Sams Place

Concordia POV

Why am I so terrified of this overgrown mutt? Why should I be afraid of him… he is only in his early twenties? He is a young werewolf… and he is more afraid of me then I am of him. And his poor fiancé… how could he have lost control and harm this poor creature?

"Cori?" a distant voice called. "Cori?" it now seemed closer. "CORI?" It was right next to me.

"Yes?" my voice sounded so small.

"Are you alright?" It was Jacob, his face so close to mine, the smell of his blood tempting the monster in me. I couldn't control this for much longer. I was eventually going to let the vampire half of me take control and that would not be good for any one of us.

"I'm fine… I'm sorry Jake, I need to go… Carlisle wanted me to do something for him. I'll see you later."

-x-x-x-x-

Jake POV

She stood up and ran out of the kitchen and to her car. She hopped in and she sped off.

"She lives with the Cullens?" Sam asked.

"Only temporarily." I told him.

"She's trouble… I can smell it."

"She's absolutely terrified of you, Sam. She couldn't wait to get out of here… she can read people like a book. She took one look at Emily and knew exactly what happened to her. She took one look at you and she was terrified… and not because of what happened to Emily. She took one look at me and saw that I was trustworthy… I don't want to be enemies with her… I love her."

"That's what you said about Bella, and look what happened. The moment the bloodsuckers returned, she was on their side. And now she's one of them!"

"Boys, not in the house please!" Emily was backing towards the back door.

"Better one of them, then in the constant harm of myself, you, or the boys."

"I'm warning you Jacob, don't think that I will pity you cause you're the son of an elder."

His temper was rising quickly and he was trembling. Emily took flight out the door and most likely went to my father. For with in about ten minutes time, Sam and I were at each other's throats.

-x-x-x-x-

Cullen House Hold

Esme POV

"They're here!" Alice exclaimed as she ran down the stairs. I looked at Regina and laughed.

"She is insane sometimes." I stood up and walked into the next room.

"I can see that. Happy to see people she has never met." Regina followed close behind.

Raja entered the house with six instead of four. All were as white as we were… with dark undertones. Especially the twin boys.

"Esme, these are my children. Angelo and Vincent, my oldest two… if I were you I'd watch them like a hawk… they are more trouble than Emmett. Alexandria and Reia, my muses! Helena and Andrew. Helena is like Jasper and Andrew is a mute, so if you need to ask him something, you'll get your answer from Helena, Edward, or myself."

"It's a pleasure to meet you." They just nodded and strode off on their own.

"Stephania… your cousin, Demetrio, is comeing to visit here. He said he has a proposition for you and that boy you were seeing." Alexandria said quietly. "He claims it's time that the two of you… take the next step and become what you were born to be… and to start the procreation process."

"Stephania?" I questioned.

"My full name is Nocturnia Regina Stephania Armonzia, princess of the vampire." Regina stated quietly. "I'm not happy about my position in life. I just accept it."

"Wouldn't that mean you're happy about it?" Helena pointed out.

"No." Regina slipped out the front door and was off to do lord knows what.

"Alice… I thought you were at the club." I stated.

"Jasper and I have been home for about an hour now." Alice looked at me like I was nuts. "Didn't you hear us come in?"

"No, my mind was else where." I said and I glided up the stairs.

-x-x-x-x-

Helena POV

_Why are we here again?_ Andrew asked me. _I mean, we don't even know these people. How long are we here for?_

"Andy, we are here to be away from father… who is in the worst of moods. You are free to leave when you want to; Vinny and Angelo are leaving tomorrow to go to Toronto. Lexa and Reia are going on to Alaska. I am unfortunately stuck here until I can control myself."

_Like that that will ever happen. If I can leave then I am going to Vegas!_ My brother walked out the door with out thinking another word.

"Mom! Angelo and I are going to Toronto." Why so soon? And then they walked out.

"I don't know what the hell I'm thinking anymore!" Concordia walked in and slammed the door. "Who am I kidding? I'll never get it to work between us."

"Then why try?"


	9. She Did What

A/N: Okay, sorry if some of this chapter gets confusing… but I am under some stress… I got the ACT this Saturday and I am nervous as all hell! I need to score a 23 or higher on this test or there is no way I am getting into the college of choice! So Wish me luck on that ACT! I have to get into Evergreen State, which is up in Olympia, WA… same kind of area as Forks!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon… they are Stephenie Meyers… and I do not own Dane Cook jokes either

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Nine:

She Did What

Edward POV

This is the most annoying job I have ever had in the entire hundred something years that I have been alive! 'Edward do this… Edward do that…' who the hell does she think she is? Jordania Renya is a tyrant!

"Of all the people that are in this club, you ask me! Why?" I demanded after she told me to go to the supermarket. She said we were out of something called… called… well for the life of me I can't remember it.

I was in the frozen food section checking out the frozen pizza's, something my Bella used to love! When I heard a familiar couple arguing over something. All I know is I hear mumbles and grumbles.

So I made my over to the next ailse to see what it was a about. I turn the corner and I see Concordia and Jacob arguing about the one of the most trivial things in the world. I could see Jacobs father not too far behind them either, shaking his head.

"I don't even care… I don't even care." Cori said in an uncaring sort of way.

"Care… what…"

So I say to myself… I so have to watch this! This is pure entertainment. Maybe now she'll see what he truly is… hopefully he can contain himself.

I was so excited that I left my cart. Which by the way, never do that. This is incase some one walks in and sees the stuff in it and it's exactly what they came to the store for… which I heard a second later… "JACK POT!"

"I asked you… do we have any jelly in the house?" Jacob demanded. "Do we or don't we have jelly in the house. You said we did last time… I'm looking around in the cabinets and I don't see any god damn jelly in the house. I just want to know if we have any jelly in the house!"

And Concordia is just egging him on. "I don't even like jelly… I don't even like jelly… I get hives if I even look at jelly… I don't know about jelly… I mean… what is jelly… I don't even care."

"I don't even give a damn about the hives! I want jelly in the fudging house…" _fudging? _"Stat, pronto, tonight… I don't… I will break your neck and pour jelly all over your body and pray to the GODS OF JELLY to burn your soul in a jelly like hell. Now GET the JELLY!"

I'm so excited I am eating the Entamins out of the box… don't worry… I paid for them. This is the point I decided to get involved. As their going back and forth I leaned in.

"Hey dude… dude… I know what your saying about the Jelly bro… tell this twat to get jelly… yeah… tell this twat to get jelly, now."

_Edward, you're going to be murdered!_ Concordia thought.

"See, see, get the jelly now… what was that word… twat… good word, thanks bro, I forgot about that word… get the jelly twat! Great word, dude, great word… twat… yes!" I walked away slowly and turned the corner. I made my purchase and went back to the club.

-x-x-x-x-

Two Hours Later

"YOU!" I heard as Bella and I practiced our waltz on the stage. I turned around and staring me down was a very upset Concordia. "You are going to pay dearly, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! I have never been more embarrassed in my entire life!"

"Now seems like a good time to start." I took off from the stage and down to the dressing room under the stage… but she was faster. "Oh, we're pretty fast for a werewolf."

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she lunged at me and I dodged her by a mere inch. I ran back up the stairs and ran out the door.

-x-x-x-x-

Esme POV

"King me." Aro announced proudly.

"We're playing chess, Aro." I said politely. "And it is I who has won."

"Well, so you…"

"AHHHHH! ESME SHE'S GOING TO KILL ME!" I heard Edward scream.

"EDWARD YOU COME BACK HERE AND GET WHAT IS JUSTLY YOURS!" at least it wasn't Bella.

Edward ran into the library and ran behind Aro and grabbed hold of his shoulders. Aro in turn started laughing like a maniac. Then he ended it with a

"Not the proper thing to have done… but that was classic." Men… I will never understand what goes through their small heads.

"Where is he?" Concordia came in. "When I find that bronze haired, hundred something… vampire… I am going to kill him!"

I pointed to behind Aro and she leapt toward him. I couldn't help but laugh… but it was hysterical.

"If you ever have another person call me a twat again… I swear it will be the last thing you ever do…. Edward Cullen!"

"Oh, but that was what you are, my dear." Edward said quickly. He then ran out the door and was locked down the hall in his room.

Concordia just stood there a couple of minutes with her fists clenched.

"This means war." She said in a very deadly calm voice. It was so icy that even I shivered.


	10. I Am Not A Twat

A/N: Haha, Dane Cook sure can get a person laughing. Now, lets got to business

here! Theres one in this too, but not worded well, cause I am pulling it from memory.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon, Stephenie Meyer does. I again do not own Dane Cook Jokes.

Insanity

Chapter Ten

I am Not A Twat

Bella POV

_Okay, now if I stay right here… and don't move… maybe she won't see me. I mean, what is the worst she could possibly do… hurt my ego. That was a wonderful shower we had there Bella… Bella, why are you laughing at me?_

"Your hair... and your skin… it's blue…" I said. I had gotten out of the shower before he had and that was when he started to wash up and I was technically in there to put the dye in the shampoo and body wash. Concordia would be so proud.

"What?" He ran to the mirror and nearly had a coronary… if that were even possible. "Concordia… she is going down."

-x-x-x-x-

"Oh look, if it's not a little blue man." Rosalie snorted. "Are we a little down today Edward?"

"Shut up, Rose. Where is that little half breed?"

"At La Push… and I suggest you don't go down there… she is… trying the same thing on Jacob… oh have you seen Emmett and Jasper… they are about the same shade of blue… the four of you should do a show together."

"Not funny at all, Rose." And Edward walked out the door.

"So, how did you get the dye in the bottles with out him noticing.

"Lets just say he had a pleasure filled shower."

-x-x-x-x-

Concordia POV

Twelve hours later

The Club

"Okay, and we are done for the night! Now remember tomorrow is opening night and we need every one… Cullen, what is with the blue skin?" Jordania asked. She is just noticing this now. "We have a show tomorrow night and you come in with blue skin! Who DOES THAT?"

"I'll have you know that we had nothing to do with this! It was all…" everyone stopped and looked towards the door. I turned around and saw why. In the door way were four blue vampires… Aro, Caius, Marcus, and Carlisle. This was one of the more interesting parts of my day. Now where are my blue vampires?

"I must say, blue is quite my color… who did this?" Aro said happily. I raised my hand and every one just stared.

"I was upset with Edward and Jake and I decided to get revenge on them. I had nothing to do with every one else in the blue group… that was solely on Jason Landson."

"Well sorry if I want to have some fun in my free time. I was bored and since werewolf's sleep like the dead, it was quite easy for me to do it… my gift is stealth and invisibility!"

"Yes, we know." Regina, Omenzia, and myself answered.

"Well, lets get on home then. Except for the Blue boys… that includes you Carlisle."

-x-x-x-x-

I arrived at Jacob's and I find him in the kitchen… cleaning a dish. He's muttering to himself about lord knows what.

"Unbelieveable… unbelievable… UNBELIEVEBLE!" He yelled. I came up softly behind him.

"Do you need any help?" I asked the little blue werewolf.

"yeah," he said quietly.

"I don't mean to get you riled up or anything… but there was jelly right in this cabinet."

"yeah, I know that now!"

"And look at me, look at me." I moved his face towards mine. " I … am not a twat! If you ever call me a twat again… I swear to god…"

"I'm sorry." he said. He was sincere about it, I could tell. For I heard his father in the other room laughing about how his boy could be such an idiot at times.


	11. Helena Montgomery

Okay, The Long awaited next chapter in the Insanity story. I hope You all like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon, Stephenie Meyer does. I again do not own Dane Cook Jokes. (just in case!)

Insanity

By: Alunamai

Chapter Eleven

Helena Montgomery

Jordania POV

"Now, I have asked you men to stay because I have go to get pictures of this… this is too funny. It seems like Concordia has gotten her revenge you Edward… and the rest of you were just the by product of something Jason has been planning for a month now!" I couldn't control my laughter anymore. The scene before me was classic. How often do you get to see blue immortals? I mean honestly, how often?

"Jordania, why must you torture them?" Balthazar asked me.

"Why did your parents name you after a character in a Shakespeare play?"

"Because they were good friends with him and he requested that I be named after one of the characters. I was lucky and wasn't named Romeo… imagine what that would have been like."

"Okay, now boys, get together." I motioned with my hand for them to form a group. "That's it… EMMETT STOP THAT! NO ONE WANTS BUNNY EARS!" Emmett put his hand down and everyone grouped themselves according to age or acquaintance. So it was basically all the Cullen's together and the Volturi were together, so Carlisle was like the connection between the two groups.

"Now, smile." No body did. "I SAID SMILE!" at that all seven blue men smiled wide.

I went to take the picture and nothing happened. I looked at it and then tried again. Still, nothing happened. That was about the time Edward started laughing like a maniac.

"Did you break this camera?" I asked him.

"Maybe." A one-word answer.

"Edward, I am going to ask you again…."

"Maybe." He answered again. "Jordania, you forget that I can read minds. That and I move at a high speed. So you never saw it coming."

"You are not as funny as you think you are Mr. Cullen." I laughed. "You owe me a new camera."

x-x-x-x

Alice POV

One Day Later

Jasper and I sat in the living room watching _Arsenic and Old Lace_ (a/n: it is a great black and white film, it's also a great read!) a favorite of mine. It was almost over and I knew what was coming up after the movie before Jasper could sense my excitement.

"Are we going shopping again?" Jasper asked quietly.

"Well of course we are. We will be going with Helena Montgomery." I leaned into his arms and he kissed the top of my head.

"Have I ever told you that I love you?"

"With all your heart and soul and that there is nothing in this world that could change that." I laughed quietly. "I love you, too, Jasper Whitlock."

"The same goes to you Mrs. Whitlock." I loved it when he said that. We always referred to one another that way, when at home. Rosalie and Emmett referred to themselves as the McCartys or the Hales when they lived on their own. The only exception to the rule was Edward and Bella. Though they are not married yet, you can often catch Edward calling up to Mrs. Bella Cullen. Or as he likes to say it… Mrs. Isabella Cullen.

"I'm just happy the dye is gone." Jasper said mostly to himself.

"Oh, you made a very cute blue vampire." I chuckled.

"Excuse me?" We turned around to look at the owner of the voice. A girl, no taller than myself, stood there. She had to have been about eighteen when she was changed. She had very long jet-black hair, wide almond shaped eyes, she had the beauty (very similar to that of Rosalie), and a heart shaped face, which resembled that of Esmes'. Her skin color was the same as ours only with a dark olive undertone. "Your Alice and Jasper, right?" she also had an Indian accent.

"Yes we are." Jasper looked up at her. Then I felt a wave of confidence go through the air. How long has she been staying here? A week, maybe two at the most.

"I'm Helena Montgomery." She introduced herself and put her hand out. I took it and pulled her into a hug.

"It's nice to finally meet you." I said in a happy tone.

"I'm sorry. I've been here two weeks and I didn't bother saying a word to any one soul except for my siblings… my sisters." She said quietly. "I had to assess the people around me to figure out who I would be able to be around without an emotional overload… actually, it really doesn't matter when everyone is in one room. My mother and Esme suggested that I get to know the two of you."

"Well, I don't see a problem with that." Jasper smiled reassuring Helena of her choice to listen to Raja and Esme.

I sat up and made room on the couch for to sit and she did obligingly. I turned towards her and we started chit chatting about things.

"So I have to ask, where are you from?" I asked after about twenty minutes.

"New Delhi, India. My parents are technically from England… well, my father is British and my mother is Indian, her father was an ambassador from India to the King of England at that time. Any ways, my parents are insane lunatics who actually enjoy driving me up the wall. Every time I turn around they are at each others throats." She laughed a moment. "They ignore the fact that every emotion they feel I feel and I have control over those emotions. I have spent over half a century trying to get those two to work things out… I have only now given up." She sank back into the beige couch and sighed. "They absolutely loath each other… they only work things out for us. It's stupid really, why can't they have the relationship Carlisle and Esme have… or you two… or any one of the couples in this place at the moment."

"Is it really that bad?" Jasper asked.

"They think I can't control my emotions… it is them who make me that way. I left in 1901 to stay with my grandmother in India. Needless to say they hunted me down and dragged me back to England. In 1920, they had another huge blow up and I again went to India. I returned to my mother in 1950, in Volterra.

"And now I want some friends… other than that of my brother, Andrew. He doesn't speak to our parents. He will to anyone else… unless my parents are in ear shot…so for he and I it is basically a complete mind conversation. I am multitalented. Mind Reader, can control emotions, and I have an aversion to human blood… it smells disgusting to me. I am a freak… I know!"

I had to laugh at that. She was certainly fun to be around. Jasper laughed a little.

"Oh, and I am talented in other ways two… I can play piano very well, I can sing, and I have a knack for art. I am the fastest in running and I am a fashonista! I love to shop."

"So does this one and Rosalie." Jasper said quietly. I smacked his arm playfully and then turned my attention to Helena.

"How about we get out of this house?" I suggested.

"Where is the nearest mall?"

"Well, Port Angeles is quite limited and I want to go to Dolce and Gabbana… hold on one second." I needed to check the whether in Beverly Hills for tomorrow. How odd, it was going to be a rainy day… all day… wait a minute… the last two weeks have been quite sunny… ever since she arrived here. "You can control the whether can't you?"

"Yes, I can. So, how about Rodeo Drive?"

"But of course." I stood up and pulled my husband up with me. I turned to him. "Jasper, my dear."

"Yes, Alice?" He lifted me off the ground so that my eyes were level with his. I carressed his cheek and stared him down.

"Can we stay at the Roosevelt on Hollywood Boulivard?"

"Hmm." He managed before I kissed him already knowing his answer.

"Edward, Bella, want to go with us to Los Angeles?" I asked in a normal voice knowing they could hear me.

"A little busy." Was all I heard from them… of course they would be… their not even married yet.

"We need to find someone to join… Oh Rosalie…" I didn't need to go any further than that. She was before us completely packed and ready to go. "Rosalie this is Helena. She'll be your room mate for this trip."

"Very pleased to meet you." Okay, that was… unusual. Oh, well.


	12. Maybe This Was A Bad Idea

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon, Stephenie Meyer does. I again do not own Dane Cook Jokes. (just in case!)

Insanity:

Chapter Twelve: Maybe This Was A Bad Idea

Club Underworld

Edward POV

"Omenzia, you are not doing this right!" Jordania screamed. "It's step, step, kick ball change, step, right, step, step, spirit fingers! Not, step, kick ball change, step, step!"

"What does it matter? My version of the dance is much better anyways!" Omenzia stated as she redid her version of the dance. This further pissed off Jordania and Balthazar immediately stepped in for his wife.

"Okay, now we have a show to finish here people. Now, if we want to get out of here on time tonight then lets get this right! Newton! Stop flirting with the Queen… she will never like you!"

Little does he know! That woman is head over heels for Newton… why? I shall never know.

"Wait a moment!" Balthazar continued. "We are missing the Hale twins, Helena, and Alice! Where are they?"

x-x-x

Beverly Hills, CA

Weather… Cloudy

Jasper POV

"OMG! I LOVE THESE SHOES!" Alice nearly screeched as we passed one of many stores that I care not to know the name of. "Jasper, honey, can we stop in here?"

"Yes, darling." I know better then to say no. We entered the store and all three women demanded to see different shoes in their sizes. After that fiasco we left to walk down the street and to let the woman do a little more of what they call "window shopping".

"OMG! LOOK AT THAT NECKLESS!" Helena screamed as we passed Cartier. "All diamonds… oh, we must! I must have it!"

"I can tell you that it has a $20,000.00 price tag…" Rosalie said after a moment. We all stared at her. "What, I have one… Emmett and I had a huge fight last week and he bought it for me… then we made sweet…"

"NO!" Helena said before Rosalie could continue. "We don't want to hear it!" We walked into the store and each walked out with a new diamond like substance… I managed to get Alice a little gift for our anniversary… no doubt she already knows about it.

And that's when I saw it… a book huge bookstore… full of scholarly endeavors for my brain to pick at…

"Um, ladies, I will let the three of shop… I would like to check out this lovely book store."

"Alright, Jazz, we'll meet there in… you know what… we'll just call you."

x-x-x

Alice POV

Gucci store

"I can not believe he got that diamond ring… that particular one costs about $18,000.00. It's also the one I've been eyeing for over a month now." I said as Rose and I put together an outfit for Helena.

"How do you know?" Helena asked me quietly.

" I see the future, my dear, and I know him much to well." I said under my breath.

"Oh." Was all she said and then after a few moments she ducked behind a stand. She grabbed Rose and I as well. "Sorry, but take a good look at that redhead."

"I can only see the back of her head." Rose complained. And then she turned around and the light flicked on about our heads… Victoria. I immediately picked up my phone and called Jasper.

"Jazz, get over to Gucci right now."

"Why? I'm in the middle of…"

"Now, Victoria is here as of right now!" I hung up the phone and I pulled the girls into a dressing room, where we stood and watched as Victoria nonchalantly went through the racks of clothing.

"Shouldn't we call Edward about this?" Rosalie asked after about ten minutes.

"Right." I said. "Then he'll fly down here and want to kill her… she's not going to stay here for very long…but we could follow her for a few hours… now I'll call him."

"I bet he won't believe you." Helena said quietly.

"How much?"

"thousand."

"I'm with Helena… so if we're right… you will need to pay us both a thousand dollars."

"Fine." I picked up my phone and pressed Two. I had Edward on speed dial. Bella was three, Esme four, Carlisle five, Rose six and Emmett was seven… and Jasper was one of course.

x-x-x

Edward POV

"Step, step, kick, step, step, kick, step, kick, step, down on knee… and spirit fingers!" Balthazar finished. "Good, now again!"

Swear to shake it up 

_If you swear to listen_

_Oh we're still so young_

_Desperate for attention_

_I aim to be_

_Your eyes_

_Trophy boys _

_Trophy wifes…_

"WHOSE CELL PHONE WAS THAT!?" Balthazar nearly screeched.

"Alice, not now." I said into the phone.

"Victoria." She whispered in to the phone.

"What do you mean by Victoria?" I felt Bella stiffen beside me.

"She's here in Gucci."

"What?" I whispered back. "Are you sure?"

"I hate the both you." Alice said to someone that was obviously not me. "Of course I'm sure. Get down here… we will follow her around until you get here."

"Alright, but I must warn you, Balthazar is not going to be happy that I left."

"Umm, right, bring down the troops… Emmett, Carlisle, Jason, Balthazar… and the dogs… we'll need them to sniff her out in case we lose her."

"Whatever." I hung up. "We have a situation!" I called. "I will need the following, come forward when I call your name."

"Edward, what is going on?" Esme and Carlisle called at the same time from where they sat in the seating area of the club.

"Alice saw Victoria." I stated. "Emmett, Carlisle, Jason, Balthazar, Jacob, Paul, Embry, Sam, and the other one of you… what ever your name is."

"Jared." Bella informed me.

"Jared… oh, like that guy from the Subway commercials?" I asked.

"Yeah. Only, he's a werewolf."

"The subway guy or him?"

"Why are you playing stupid? Him, of course." Bella snapped.

Okay, so I was acting a little stupid… but what ever.

x-x-x

Beverly Hills Hotel an Hour later

Jasper POV

"Now, why are we here?"

"A. To get rooms and B. To follow little Ms. I want To Kill Bella." Alice stated quietly.

"Like you don't know if we will or not." Rosalie stated as we approached the front desk.

"Two rooms please." I handed her a credit card. The same exact one that I had handed a a girl over a year ago when I was at a mall with Bella… We were on our way to Phoenix and we stopped to feed her and to get some new clothes for Bella…

"Yes, Miss. Lee. Right away. The top floor penthouse is free and it has two bedrooms, would that be alright."

"Perfect. Oh and another… could you tell me if Ceres Wells is staying here… I'm supposed to be meeting with her… she's my cousin."

"Yes, she is, Miss. She is in room 482 on floor 4."

"Could we also have a room right across from there… my brother will be joining us as soon as he gets here… and he doesn't like the top floor."

"Yes, Miss." She typed into the computer and set everything up. She handed us four sets of keys and we headed to the top floor.

"We need stations. Helena, since she doesn't know you, you will stay in 482, Jasper you can man the lobby. Rose, you can pick up the boys at the airport, and I will stay with Helena until they get here. Helena, if you see her in the hall just nod, I'll be in the room. This needs to go off without a hitch… and Helena, how did you know it was her?"

"She's Concordia's daughter… well, only child… I saw a painting that was done of her back when she was only eighteen… right after she became what she is today. Concordia hasn't seen her since… the girl was twenty. She ran off with some lowlife vampire named James. Her name is Ceres Proserpina Victoria Wells. Named after her great grand mother on her mothers side."

"How…" Rosalie started.

"Ask, and you shall receive… providing Concordia is in a good enough mood." Helena finished. "Now, if you don't mind, I am going to change into something a little more comfortable for me… it is much to warm here."

We had reached floor four by now and were standing outside of room 481 which was directly across the hall from Victoria's room.

After about ten minutes Helena came out of the room wearing a…. a sari? I couldn't be sure. (a/n: for those of you who have seen Bride and Prejudice… think of what Lalita is wearing in the movie when she went to the party and when she was with her friends shopping in town. For those of you who have not seen it… think of the one character from the movie Queen of The Damned… if you have no idea who I speak of… it's okay cause were on the same page… I think her name was Pandora… but I think I am wrong!)

All I could tell was that it was dark blue and she had redone her hair… It truly was her.

"What?" she said quietly.

"Nothing." I said a few moments. "It's just I have never seen such a beautiful blue."

This was true. I never have.

"We have movement in the room… everyone places." Jasper said as he left for the elevator.

"Well, I still have an hour or so… so I'll stay here."

"Yes, cause we just might need your help…"


End file.
